It starts with one harmless little sniffle in the middle of first period. “It’s no big deal,” you think. “I’m always like this in the morning.”
Cue the next day when you wake up at four in the morning because your nose is clogged, your joints and muscles ache, and you’d rather write another full lab report with all your sources cited by hand than swallow because every time you do feels like John Green shocking himself on Crash Course with that pen of his.
As your brain slowly passes through its four-AM-state-of-sluggishness, it enters realisation, shock, and then horror. It’s the “F” word.
(Courtesy of Speare Memorial Hospital)
The flu has arrived at our dearly beloved Shanghai American School.
No one is safe. That hot-blooded Freshman in your language class? He’ll have three days until one of his friends sticks his germ-covered hands into their shared can of Sour Cream and Onion Pringles. That girl who sits next to you in math and never drinks from her water bottle? She gets two days before she starts coughing in the middle of solving problem 3. That really athletic guy who runs outside regardless of the weather outside and wears, like, a flannel as a jacket? He’ll be fine.
Let’s just say that that after going through the Freshman and Math Girl the flu has finally spread to you, and now you’re desperately trying to find something that’ll rid you of the worst thing you’ve encountered all year (which should technically be true because this year has only been about a month long). You’re in luck.
Welcome to The Echo’s Declassified Flu Survival Guide.
Rule #1: Measure your temperature first. According to the Mayo Clinic, a fever over 38ºC (or 101ºF) is a sign of the flu. This is when you tell your parents that you’re actually sick and shouldn’t be going to school until your fever has been clear for over 24 hours. It’s not like the time in the 7th grade when you tried to stick the thermometer into the lamp to raise the temperature but ended up having it explode in your hand. Sorry, Mom. Middle school was rough.
Rule #2: Drink water. It’s about to get sweaty. And then really cold. What are hot and cold receptors anymore? The flu will seriously dehydrate your body and leave the inside of your mouth feeling like the croutons offered in the salad bar, which is probably why you feel like coughing every time you breathe in through your mouth. Drinking hot tea or water with lemon or honey soothes the throat and opens up the nose. Just a tip from the author’s personal experience: as enticing as dumping three green tea bags into your water might seem to be at 4 pm when you’re desperate for some detoxication, don’t do it. Regret comes in the form of caffeine-induced insomnia and dehydration.
Rule #3: Eat healthily. That means you can’t stuff yourself with five boxes of Chicken McNuggets and wash it down with a venti White Chocolate Mocha from Starbucks. According to Men’sHealth, eating too many fatty foods will make you more nauseous and cause stomachaches, and drinking too much caffeine will further dehydrate you. What you should be eating are protein-rich foods like eggs and yogurt (but watch your dairy intake or you might end up with more mucus production) and heaps of fruits and vegetables.
Rule #4: Invest in some fuzzy socks. They live up to their hype.
Rule #5: (Try to) keep up with your schoolwork and communicate with your teachers and classmates. You don’t want to walk into class the first day back and see “Turn in DBQ” on the board, especially if you hadn’t known about it during your time away from school. If something’s due on a day you’re sick, ask for an extension. That also means you shouldn’t spend the entirety of your sick day(s) scrolling through the Instagram explore page. Catch up a little bit on homework so you aren’t left in the dust by the time you return.
Rule #6: Wash your hands. Honestly, this should be waaaaaay farther up on this list but at this stage in life washing your hands should be second nature.
Rule #7: Get ready for some pain. Some of your coughs are going to feel like your entire respiratory system is on the brink of collapsing, and other ones will make you wish you didn’t have one. Sometimes you don’t know true courage until you’re faced with a cough you can’t hold in.
Rule #8: Visit the doctor. The flu can become deadly without proper medication or treatment. Robitussin, Ibuprofen, Tylenol, and nose sprays are all extremely helpful towards battling the monstrosity that is the flu. A United Family Hospital general clinic just opened in the mall across our school so now you can stroll in with your mango strawberry sago and Subway sandwich at 3:45 pm and get your nose swabbed to test for the flu.
Keep yourself warm and hydrated this flu season…
Or you’ll be next.
Annie Xie
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